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BACKSEAT BUDDHA


1994. We’re late – that’s usually the case these days. I have a 5-year-old. And that 5-year-old son, Denvir, is tucked safely in his car seat and I have a rearview mirror direct view of him.

Traffic is dreadful on The Kennedy at this hour of the morning. Well, really at every hour. And we’re running late. I’m getting my “Irish” up which means I’m not acting particularly angry, but anyone with a pulse can read the vibes.

Denvir says, “Mom, are you angry”? Oh man, teachable moment here – I smile into the rearview and say, “Yeah honey, but not at you, it’s the traffic – it’s really buggin’ me” To which he wisely says.

“Mom, we’re traffic too”


Look in the rearview. Screeching car brake sound in my head, and the words –

“Ahh, little Buddha, I am your student.


I was then reminded of a time not long before the traffic wisdom, when Greg, Denvir’s dad, Denvir, and I drove out to see my brother Jim and his family in Crystal Lake where I’d grown up. Jim’s identical twin John had passed from cancer 2 years earlier, and Jim was battling it now. It didn’t look good. I was heartbroken as we drove back to Des Plaines. We pulled into the driveway to our beautiful property, I got out of the car, walked into the backyard of full moonlight, lay down, buried my face in the earth, and wept.


Greg had taken Denvir in to get him ready for bed. I came in to read and say prayers when he went to the window, smiled up at the full moon that I had just cried in, and said, “I have a truth in my tummy, and it makes a face on the moon”. I am struck so deeply that I’m near laughter.



2023. We’re working. Life being this magical mystery tour that it is - has me, Denvir and Greg, now my ex, in the same field. Recovery Support and Counseling. I’m in awe of how great my Backseat Buddha is at this work. Luckily when I need some help, I know I can go to both of them for great insight. This day I got Denvir who’s on a case in LA.


After I filled him in on how I’ve got one gig that’s wonky and has no schedule yet, and that I just got called from another company checking my availability and… and…

Without dropping a beat, he says – “Hey, don’t jump ship just because it’s not moving. Ships sail when the wind blows”


I laughed out loud. I said – “Wait – what? Fertheloveagod Denvir PLEEEEEEASE, write a book”! to which he laughed and said, “You just write ‘em down mom, and put ‘em in a book”. Gotta go, Love you.


Will do Denvir, this is a start. Love you too.



When people lack a sense of awe, there will be trouble in the empire. Lao Tzu


Have an awesome day. You are loved

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